Sign of the End Times

I’m relaxing on Sunday morning with the NYT, being all churched-out for the week. But no escaping religion. Back page of the Review section asks the theological question, ‘Is That Jesus in Your Toast?’

Such apparitions can be as lucrative as they are seemingly miraculous. In 2004, a Florida woman named Diane Duyser sold a decade-old grilled cheese sandwich that bore a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary. She got $28,000 for it on eBay.

The authors totally overlook the most alarming aspect of this story. It’s not superstition– that’s as old as humanity. It’s not the fact that some people have way more money than sense- ditto. It’s the fact that a ten-year-old grilled cheese sandwich is still intact. I’m wondering is some nice American cheese between 2 slices of white bread incorruptible? Like the fallen trees around Chernobyl? Or a McDonald’s burger? Or snacks that fall under the couch and petrify?
I don’t know whether the Virgin Mary would recognize any of these things as food, or trust them to be Kosher. Perhaps she appeared on the grilled cheese sandwich to warn us– don’t eat this stuff.

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