You don’t know me, but your voice gave me power and comfort in hard times. ‘Mystery Achievement’ was the theme of every escape plan from a sh-t job I made through a succession of terrible, low-paid purgatories I might have stayed stuck in.
I was young at the same time you were. I admire the way you took center stage in a time of desperate competition. Women were making demands, men were trying to protect their turf and somehow you found your way as an artist.
Now I see on social media that your remarks about women and rape are seen as victim-blaming.
I do get your point that women need to be aware of how they may be perceived and take precautions. Back in the day women were carrying little hand weapons like the Kubotan and The Cat, checking on our friends and calculating the relative risk of places we wanted to go and things we wanted to do. The NRA wants us all to run out and buy pink guns, because they don’t recognize any right of citizens to be safe in our daily lives. Victim-blaming is easier.
It hurts to read you blaming your 21-year-old, “naive” self for being the victim of what was clearly a premeditated crime by an experienced predator-
She told the Sunday Times magazine that when she was 21 an Ohio motorcycle gang member promised to take her to a party but instead took her to an empty house, yet she claimed to take “full responsibility” for what happened.
She said: “Technically speaking, however you want to look at it, this was all my doing and I take full responsibility. You can’t f*** about with people, especially people who wear ‘I Heart Rape’ and ‘On Your Knees’ badges … those motorcycle gangs, that’s what they do.
“You can’t paint yourself into a corner and then say whose brush is this? You have to take responsibility. I mean, I was naive.”
Like generals always fighting the last war, we will not be naive to the assaults we have suffered. We will be naive to new and unexpected forms of malice. As long as we blame women and require no responsibility on the part of men, the men with criminal intent will keep finding ways to do harm.
Most men are not rapists, but they won’t stand for women unless we stand for ourselves. Most men are afraid of these guys too.
I was fortunate to attend a talk by a powerful witch, Z. Budapest. She told how a circle of women met to plan action against a serial rapist who was terrorizing their town. One of the women said “let’s surround him with white light.”
“White light?” said Z, “That’s what you send to your grandmother in the hospital.”
She then related how they cursed that man on a dark moon. Z thought his subsequent failed attacks and quick capture by law enforcement was helped by their magic. I can’t argue with that.
I don’t really believe that there’s a Hell for anyone to rot in, otherwise I would be praying to the Christian God that the man who raped you would burn eternally.
But since we only have this world, I hope that he has improved life for the rest of us by ending his own. If he is alive, and capable of remorse, let him spend his days atoning for the harm he has done. If he is not capable of remorse, let his death be swift. May his name be forgotten, or only spoken with a smirk and a headshake. May all he built fall down. May his survivors disown him. May his kind go extinct, when we learn to blame the perp, not the victim, and dismantle the master’s house using any and all tools. Blessed be.